Red Wedding

The "Red Wedding" episode was one of the most crucial episodes of the Game Of Thrones series and a gory one at that. However, my topic of interest isn't that, yet, the Red Wedding I am going to talk about is equally gory and important.

Today, 28th of May is being observed as Menstrual Hygiene Day. Initiated by WASH United in 2014, Menstrual Hygiene Day (MHD) builds awareness of the fundamental role that good menstrual hygiene management plays in helping women and girls reach their full potential.

To begin with, let us first understand what menstruation is.
Menstruation is a monthly shedding of a female's uteral lining; it lasts about 3 to 5 days (average) and contains blood and tissue that exits her body through the cervix and vagina.
The average age for a girl to get her first period is between 12 and 15, but, given today's lifestyle, it has reduced to an age as young as 8.

Why this day in particular?
The menstruation cycle in an average case repeats every 28 days and lasts for 5 days and hence MHD is chosen to be celebrated on 28/5 of every year.
Through this article, I want to narrate experiences that my friends or I have personally faced during the days the bloody buddy visited, which,  with a little more sensitivity towards the subject could have helped us a great deal.

The Beginning
Most of us girls have no idea about menstruation until the day we see a huge amount of blood in our underpants. And the age that it occurs in, does not allow us to give a mature reaction about it although funnily, in South India and maybe even in the north, girls whose menstrual cycle has started are said to have "matured"!!
Most of the girls don't get a platform to discuss or guidance on what menstruation is, on the parts/organs involved in it, on how to rightly use a sanitary pad or dispose it and develop unhygienic practices from a young age.

The Ugly Truth
Every girl can be classified into 2, one who personally does and one who knows of another girl doing the below mentioned -
* Using the same sanitary pad for the entire day or more
* Throwing the pads without washing it or packaging it
* Disposing of the pad with wet waste
* using the same underpants for the entire cycle without washing it.
* flushing the pad in a commode.
* Keeping the tampon on for a longer duration despite being warned of Toxic Shock Syndrome(TSS) that it can cause.
* Not thoroughly washing the cloth if/when using a reusable cloth pad.
* Using dirty cloth or cotton or in some cases sand as sanitary napkins

Now the above practices are followed more because of the lack of knowledge or resources in most cases and in most other cases because of the cultural taboos and social stigma attached to this.

The Prejudice
Like the Uterus Ninja wasn't enough we are surrounded by self-appointed moral ninjas to tell us what Not to do during code red days.
Even as I write this, I, by no means claim that the intentions of the ones who originally created these rules are wrong. In fact, a lot of them are right but not really understood by the ones asking us to follow it even today while some are no longer relevant.
Until recently, in my own hometown, a girl on her period had entry only to few rooms, could not touch anybody, had strictly no permission to the kitchen or prayer room/temple.
The reason with which these rules were created was to provide some relief to women who literally take care of A-Z, especially in such villages. They are the ones who work in the fields and kitchen alike. They feed the cows and milk them. They cook for the men and console the crying baby with equal efficiency.

By restricting their presence to their rooms or living rooms, they were freed of their duties in all those other areas.
By making them untouchable, they were preventing her problem child to go near her with tantrums to pick him/her up for a stroll or from insensitive husbands who insisted on making love even in those days.
But how relevant is asking such things out of a woman in today's world who usually has a separate cook, maid and nanny for her home, who in most cases works in front of a system sitting comfortably?
This is where a little reasoning would help and it is time we put a stop to a lot of the social stigmas that women are the victim of in different parts of the world. It is also time we recognized problems prevailing today.

The Now
Yes, we lead a far more comfortable life today, the best of which women have seen till now. Yet, the problems still stay.
Today's men are a divide between those who are ready to accept these things and help the women in their life and those who are scared to accept/acknowledge, even disgusted about an event as normal as the monthly menstrual cycle as opposed to the former generations who at the very least accepted and acknowledged it without a fuss. As a result, we are left with an uncomfortable environment with people who don't want to discuss things openly. It is also in such environments that women have united amicably in helping each other.

The Tell-It-All 
As normal as those 5 days of the period are, it is equally mild or painful, light or heavy, uncomfortable or uncomfortable itself.

Imagine having to walk around with a constant feeling of blood leaking down there. Imagine having a constant fear of staining your dress or the chair that you were sitting on. All this, apart from the cramps in your tummy, uterus, thighs, low back aches, tender/sore breasts and mood swings much against our wish or control. How much ever those sanitary napkin ads boast of, no girl actually goes about jumping, doing acrobatics that too wearing a tight white dress!!

With all this happening, the least we could do was provide an open environment to discuss this than pssst it.
In my view, the monthly period is like modern day Voldemort! Why is it He-who-must-not-be-named?
No, go ahead and say it loud. PERIODS. MENSTRUAL CYCLE. Go ahead and encourage an environment where these words can be said confidently. Also, because of the 3 Ns.
It is Natural, Normal and NOT a disease.

The Preaching
This is where I throw light on different scenarios needing a little understanding.
* Your's is a mixed group where boys and girls are treated alike. It is one of your female friend's bday and it is time for bday bumps when she says a NO. And all hell breaks loose and you accuse her of being a feminazi. Now could you think of a reason why she might have said No?

* It is a normal day at school and you see your classmate walking around tying a shirt or sweatshirt around her waist. You complain to the teacher telling that she need not act cool or modify the uniform according to her whims and fancies, while you were not allowed to wear a cap after your visit to Tirupathi.
Maybe she felt you thinking of her as a wannabe was much better than her explaining why her skirt looks like a Japan flag?

* Weekend is approaching, all of you are making plans to visit Dandeli and do rafting or at least Wonder La or a hike nearby and your friend backs out last minute giving reasons you think are lame. Could you now see it in a different angle?

* Your teammate asks you to share her work telling she wants to rest in the Ladies' room. The maintenance staff inform her the procedure that requires an RM approval letter. Her RM is either not in the same location or is unapproachable or she is an introvert who isn't comfortable talking about the reason with her RM who happens to be a male. After faltering about she returns correctly when you have almost done her share of the work. And you cannot help but notice her timing.
Can you reflect on it a little differently now?

* Your cubicle lies on the way to the washroom and you greet your friends as they pass by. Today you greeted your friend and she just gave a faint smile and nothing more. You felt hurt but care to think why she didn't stop and why her hand gripped that paper covered thing in her hand more tightly?

* You and your girlfriend have lunch plans and she asks you to pick her up in your car or borrow your friend's car while you are ready to pick her up on your bike instead. She does not listen and says she will maybe take an auto instead and you can come by bike. You suddenly have different opinions about her being high maintenance and rude and difficult. Could you think of the reason behind her demands?

I am not justifying any such behaviour shown for other reasons but am just trying to list out few of the most common scenarios where women are misunderstood for their behaviour and having an ignorant and insensitive society around us hasn't helped.
On this day, pledge to help the women in your life by being a little more sensitive towards her and whatever she undergoes.
A small act from you can have a big impact on radically changing this society and an even bigger impact on her. Let us stop complaining of being part of a society that is backwards in it's thinking and instead, be the fuel to propel it forward.

Because #MenstruationMatters.