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Showing posts from 2012

dead soul for sale ..

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I am dressed in the most bright of colours but if only people could see past that into my dull life I talk loud , impolite - by civilized standards , to sell myself irony, that people don't search for the voice which was silenced long back, when it was raised to protect                                                                                                                                                               myself.. I stand by the road side to be 'picked' by someone years back, the same place from where i purchased my dolls .. I am no man's sister ,wife or daughter I am just a woman who was raised as a lamb for slaughter as I stand, people can notice the gaudy red on my lips but if only they could see the leather marks, more red in colour, on my hips.. I live my dream daily, only when I'm being readied as a bride but tears flow silently as each new day, a new man strips me off my pride I am called a 'shame' to all for c

Jewels ..

I have captured your reflection in my dark black kajal, your voice tinkles through my anklets, I have captured your love in the red of my lips, the essence of your smell in my perfume , I have captured your spirit and worn it as my earrings, they sway freely in the light breeze, I have captured your pride in my fierce red kumkum , my veil touches my skin the way you do , I have captured our lovely bond in my ring, your words to me lie as pearls on my neck , I have captured your all in me,      only to surrender my soul to you .............

falling dreams ..

I wander amidst barren deserts  searching for an oasis of your soul lie on the burning sand under the hot sun     but it is colder than the heat you bring along with your passion I dream that you'll come and quench my thirst with your moist lips      the sun closes its eyes -shy even at the nature of my thoughts stars fall like my falling dreams     the moon rises to throw light on my shadow I embrace it tight imagining it to be you            the desert seems endless                        and so does my journey in your search .... .............

they say i drink ..

They say I drink to forget my pain      they say I drink to forget your name They say I drink to remember those moments      they say i drink to find some solace They say I drink to forget your scent in it      they say I drink to feel you next to me They say I drink to hear your voice in me ...      and as I sit finishing another drink , all I can hear them say is ,                                                                                           that I drink ......

the birth of a mother ..

She lied there motionless after braving through five hours of labour pain she was in this sleep state after months of spending nights -sleepless and that angel beside her with big blue eyes was her only gain ... That night was a rough one but not rougher than her husband , who only wanted a son she thought of those dreams she had as a child of being married to a man ,one who would treasure his lady-so mild .. She was abandoned the moment they knew it was a girl baby an irony - being orphaned ,after she became a parent she thought it was a curse to her or a blessing in disguise maybe ?? and sought comfort in her baby's scent .. She cried her heart out holding those li'l feet but promised to raise her like a princess even if she had to beg on the street As they looked at each other,in their minds having their images -graven a beautiful story was being written above in heaven ........

different stations in the journey of life ..

I saw you in the crowd You were singing happy and aloud I could only notice that you've moved on in your life forcing me to drop my dreams of ,some day being your wife The bus in which I was sitting, moved too fast and hence just those few glimpses of you,in my memory, would last my heart felt that I should get down and come to you forever but , what if you choose to not recognize me ? For now or ever ...? I sat there feeling numb ,indifferent to the movements around  I wished someone would console me ,saying ,in life-what goes,comes around .. but the bus was filled with strangers now .. the strange part is that they felt more familiar to me than you , my love ... Maybe this is how life is , I thought , looking at the sun that while few enter your life with a reason ,the others last only a season  and while I sat there cherishing you for that one last time my stop arrived and that is where I had to stop my rhyme ...

engaged ..

              she looked back at him ,    his eyes could catch just the dimple of her one cheek            the breeze played its part perfectly and her dark brown tresses just flew in the air ..          it carried her beautiful scent to him            he just drowned in it ,dreaming of his life ahead with his beautiful bride  she just smiled more , counting the number of days left to  become entirely his ! ........

life in modern day ..

all doors - closed all curtains - drawn all lines - busy all clouds - dark all heads - tensed all nights - long all families - small all trains - missed all ponds - dried all thoughts - blank all seats - taken all smiles - fake all relations - complex  all games - twisted  all tunnels - endless  all paths - used all feelings - drained all friends - foes all hues - black                       all identities - lost ........................

Wandering mind ..

2 li'l feet , distant laughter , blue sky , falling leaves , entwined  fingers ,hurrying vehicles , dark moving clouds , blinking lights , drizzling rain , snuggling bodies ,blowing winds , bold banners , careless urchins , hot coffee , wet hair , dried feelings , set of novels ,aroma of love , tired beggar ,flying butterfly , possible endings , joint eyebrows , lost souls , sleeping dog , endless discussions , pointless celebrations , bags full of ornaments ,naked truth ,rising balloons , unxpected beginnings ,shattered glass pieces , polluted minds ,overcrowded streets , lonely hearts , green leaves ,black roads , colourful rainbow , grey moods , loud music , silent whispers , blooming flowers , dying relations , blunt knives , sharp tongues , luscious lips ,  thinner hips , blinking  eyes , still picture , euthanasia cravings ,costly pace-makers ,  broken twigs ,pulpy  fruit ,shallow thoughts , short life ,long journey ,  travelling suitcase , wandering

luv v/s love ..

I hate the new age "LUV" scenario where you get linked to someone random ,keep those you dont like as drafts ,where luv begins in your inbox and a delete is enough to forget all that you claimed and professed as opposed to the fact that LOVE (yes its a classic 4 letter word and you dare not showcase your laziness by reducing it to a puny 3 letter word !! ) originates in the heart and once its there it is almost next to impossible to mouth move on  as easily as its portrayed to be , even if differences arise ......   , and tonight, Dear girl , I'm celebrating the hour which bought me close to you , celebrating every little thing i love about you.... I love your childlike quality,               your sense of wonder your enthusiasm for life .... and for love I love the way you understand me better than anyone else..                                         the way you always make me happy I love the way you make me laugh                                      

"THERE'S CALM AFTER THE STORM" .. umm .. really ???

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sending ..... sending ..... sending .....sending failed. unable  to send . Notice :" Dear customer, you have sent 5 SMS today.As per instructions  from the Government Regulatory ,only 5 SMS can be sent per day ". Now all of us " tech-savvy " people or in simple words the mobile addicts  already experienced this situation in just a day's matter and it took this extreme step by the government to curb a situation which was well in their hands and a step so extreme for even the rather un-interested and ignorant public to sit up and take a  look at the matter carefully !! Till a few days back ,calling the North Eastern fellow Indians as "Chinks" or "Minks" and believing them to be of China,Japan , Korea or any other nation except India was the biggest badgering done to them ,but the recent violence which crossed its borders to even physical violence ,that too done to them in their own homeland is an event which will go down in the

Eve ,Steve and Fairness creams !

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I ,as many of you others ,grew up watching the advertisements of vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream and ponds beauty cream which mainly served their purpose as moisturising creams  . I always knew that ours was a racist country but more than that a hypocritical nation . I call it hypocritical because ours is a nation which accuses other countries of being racist ,of harassing people belonging to darker shade of colour but back home what we witness is not the model "melting pot " nation which Nehru dreamed of but just  a nation busy in planning the marketting and sales of its various fairness products !! Back then fairness and beauty products were meant and made for women but slowly with the rise of the metrosexual man ,the trend shifted and now we see a whole range of  fairness products made exclusively for men. When did the "tall-dark-handsome" stereotype  for men change to "tall-fair-handsome" ??? And fortunately or unfortunately ,seconding the o

Take a left, cross a road and there u arrive at "crossword" ..

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I have seriously  lost count of the number of times I frequent this place ,that too this particular outlet of the 72 outlets in entire India - Crossword ,  J.P.Nagar . It is undoubtedly one of my favourite places in namma beautiful bengaluru for numerous reasons and the main one being that it is a book store.As the saying goes " wear the old coat and buy the new book " ....  Books are to me as drugs are to a drug addict and the very smell of it attracts me and the book world fascinates me like wonderland did to Alice and leaves me spell-bound each time i pick up a book and the feeling is as brand new as it was for the very first of books, be it ' Famous five ' , ' Noddy ' ,  ' bed-time stories' or ' Tinkle '  that I read . Secondly,its the ambience of this place which is so inviting and cozy that any person who visits this place wouldnt definitely come out within few minutes of entering unless he came in to ask for directions to the neare

Living in a bubble ..

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Has it ever happened to you ? That suddenly you realize that the world you were living in was a fake one, the people surrounding you ,the promises made, the consoling, the relations you made spending so much time on it ,the happiness you thought you had  finally achieved . In short , Everything ,and how much ever you pinch yourself or slap yourself, it doesnt change, thereby confirming that it isn't any of your usual nightmares either . So there you are totally wounded and bruised from the latest punch on your emotion and you just sit back alone trying to wonder how or why  you let someone affect you so much ? Why you readily became the emotional fool when you so well knew of the future outcomes !! Why you force yourself to believe that even grey is white enough in your life filled with melancholy black . Why you sober up to someone's sugar talks and ignore your mind's burgeoning warnings that everybody warms up to you only for a reason and none will last even for a se

I hate you like I love you ..

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I am fine . . . . . . . but I'm not , Its okay . . . . . . . . . .  but Its not ! I hate it when you dont understand me I hate it when you so easily buy my lies , that i dont care . . . . . . . I hate it when you give up on me I hate the fact that you cant make out --- that the only reason I fight with you , is because I want you to pamper me the only reason I act jealous and possessive is because in the pretext of clarifying you will talk to me the only reason I upset you is so that I can cuddle you back to normal the only reason I go overboard is because I dont want things between us to be formal ! I hate the fact that you get bored so easily while I wake up nights just to listen to you I hate the fact that you forget me soon when all I do is remember you I hate the fact that you treat my feelings , more  as a burden And I hate it when you get miffed with me , all of a sudden I hate it when you're gone for long I hate to miss you for I'm

summer ,winter ,spring ,autumn

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I'm a moody person which at times makes me behave in abnormal ways and sometimes to the extent that i start feeling like I'm the latest victim of a "bi-polar disorder" or "obsessive compulsive disorder"! Now, back to the topic , about my mood swings , they have the same affect on me as a hypnotiser would on his rather hopeful patient !! .. I mean they are mostly not under my control and the outcomes are not always good . An interesting observation that I made in this rather serious condition of mine [ ;) ] is that  these varied moods are more like the seasons both in their time spans and essence . There are days when I wake up in a mood soo sunny that I feel that others might have to use their flash to click a pic and that pessimists have to watch their steps or they might turn to looking at the brighter side of things when I'm around !!! I get a feeling that I can take on the world ,dont feel sad for even the rudest comment hurled at me ,look

... Reflection ....

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Yesterday I went for a walk at the nearby lake and I can say it was beautiful! 'It' here refers to the lake, the feeling of walking by it, the plain sight of it... For me , the most beautiful thing about this lake is that it is not stagnant and the water is in light but continuous and elegant movement ,more like it is walking along with you as you try to converse with it . Stagnancy somehow depresses me and however lazy I might be I'm definitely not inactive. Flowing water on the other hand ,reassures me that 'nothing is permanent' ,a saying which I always say to myself when I'm at rock bottom and which somehow balances out everything . Water invites you and compels you to look at your reflection and what you see may not always please you .The person you see there might not be the person you want to be and that just leaves your eyes flowing ,adding 2 or more drops to the lake.... Well that did not happen to me yesterday because for a change I

For Forever .....

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For the days we smile together On things which later doesn’t matter For the days we laugh together on something that is funny To keep it going we are ready to even make our faces like bugs bunny!! For the days we cry for ourselves thinking of each other I always wonder why we don’t do it together... For the days those pillows have become salty wet To how by just talking it over, those bad things we forget!! For the days we are very angry Our differences we are not ready to burry For the days we act deaf to what each one's telling When we simply feel our presence has become compelling For the days I have acted extremely rude And u don’t want to take the liberty to intrude For the days my inner self is killing me violently To the days you have willingly stood by silently You'll always remain close to me; you'll remain the special dew drop on the leaf of my life ...

The Bus Ride :)

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I'm sure most of you at one point or the other have travelled by bus and if you havent then this is just to show what all you have missed ! Well I'm not a frequent user of this particular public transport considering I have my own vehicle but the times I have used it , it has been quite an experience each time ! I'm particularly interested in boarding crowded buses ,since that is where i get to observe a whole variety of people ..and oh boy ! what fun it is !! :) Now since its a crowded bus you dont get a seat when you board it and thats when you experience the following : You suddenly  feel like a hostage with your kidnappers surrounding you ,actuating you ,some poking you and If you'r a girl then be ready for the constant stare at you by atleast 10 pairs of eyes and be prepared to take the weight of the  man behind you ,who 'accidentally' may fall on you for the next speed breaker itself ! Talking of speed breakers ,these serve more as opportuni

bells , candles and snowflakes

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I want to smile to myself thinking about you I want to laugh away to your jokes I want to look at you when you are unaware I want to catch you doing the same to me I  want to blush just at the sight of you I want you to notice me blushing too ! I want to cry out my heart holding you I want you to hug me back tightly consoling me I want to wake up to the sunrise with your eyes on me I want to sit silently & watch the sunset with your arms around me I want to keep asking you questions like some small girl ! ... I want to keep hearing you answer till theres an end to time I want to run my fingers over your hairs I want to sleep peacefully on your lap I want to make you feel loved I want to travel the world with you I want to dance wildly with you I want us to share secrets like kids ! I want to try new things with you everyday I want to spend every moment of life living with you I want to ................. P.S : I'm on an overdose of

poker-face

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she lighted the rebel inside her she inhaled deeply the criticism around her she smoked out her inhibitions & then she stubbed the negativity with her pointed heels  and walked away ..........

soft jazz and heavy metal

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I am so coy whereas you are the popular boy from this world I usually hide you are the one in whom people confide I don't have the guts to give my opinions, a voice    & the rare times you are not debating , is by your own choice I don't give a damn to the who's who of society well ,the same people sometimes give you the position of a deity ! I'm a loner both by choice and force  & you must be tired , attending to everybody's whims , off-course ! I don't mostly let anybody into my inner circle It's sometimes a headache for you to manage your numerous circles .. I'm just a simple girl who loves silence and is quite arty you too seem to be a simple guy but in a world of noise and parties I'm a girl who despises two-faced people ,even treating it to be a sin You are the one giving the same people a taste of their own medicine .. I'm a girl who sits by her window waiting for it to rain You are a guy who could take

Of fAiRy TaLeS and PriNce ChaRmiNgs ..

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Like Cindrella had her prince charming Like Rapunzel entwined her love with her hair I wished for someone who'd call me 'Darling' & shower me with all his love and care for I grew up reading Fairy tales wanting for my life ,the same or more & amidst sea horses ,star fishes and snails I saw you set foot on my shore You had the confidence of easily earning your bread as you set to conquer , riding your horse across the farms Just one look at you ,my cheeks went red dreaming of the day you'll carry me in your arms And then one day you came for me asking permission to take me away & as you held me tight , by the sea my heart melted and to your tune swayed Thus you made my fairy tale come true as you set my life ,with your passion ,quivering kissing me through our rough times ,which were few "Happily Forever after" became the slogan of our living ..... P.S : this is just a poem by the girl in me :P however odd it may seem

Satyameva Jayate

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" Satyameva Jayate " was a Hindu mantra from the ancient scripture Mundaka Upanishad  Upon independence it was adopted as the national motto even , only to be forgotten gradually .The original mantra goes like this सत्यमेव जयते नानृतं सत्येन पन्था विततो देवयानः | येनाक्रमन्त्यृषयो ह्याप्तकामा यत्र तत् सत्यस्य परमं निधानम् ||६|| Meaning: Truth alone triumphs; not falsehood. Through truth the divine path is spread out by which the sages whose desires have been completely fulfilled, reach where that supreme treasure of Truth resides But now I am talking about Satyameva Jayate the TV program , the one directed by Satyajit Bhatkal and which is produced by the anchor himself , Aamir Khan . The show is even translated to six other languages to find its way into the minds of almost every Indian and its first episode was even specially screened in some of the most remote villages whose locals hadn't ever seen a television ! The show has succ

the art of chaos

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KARMA IS A BITCH !!!! my tailor isnt giving my dress even after 2 dozen days !!!!  I lost a very close friend or rather went from being close friends to faint acquaintances ! another best friend is angry with me because I  didn't  agree to get screwed at home and accompany her to an illegal trip to goa ,another best friend whom i can afford to meet only when she has holidays or she is in town , chooses to come down and hang out only with her cousins ,and another best friend whom I actually want to spend time with has chosen the best time to be out of town ! people whom I dont want to meet are angry with me for not meeting them whenever they plan ,people I'm looking forward to meet are cancelling it last minute !!! Then there are these 2-faced people who act  overly sweet in front of me and then just go about spreading shit about me !!! I'm half in the mind to thrash them up and half in the mind to LOL ! and ask them to  at least  get their facts right ,bu

Amma

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She is to me ,of beauty , the epitome making our cozy li'l house function as home She is my dad's wife  To him , the love of his life She is a voracious reader , travelling the world through her books And something which she has always told me is "Believe in actions and not in looks !!! " She is the sharer of our many dreams she is a painter too ,painting beautiful streams She is a social worker ,working for the betterment of society She is the favourite devotee of her beloved deity She is FRODO boy's everything , more or less .... and without her ,our house is nothing but in mess !!!

MyRiAd EmOtIoNs

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I'm actually feeling weird from a couple of days ... A feeling that I can no longer feel anything and that nothing is affecting me!!! And its confusing .... Now wait a second ,does 'feeling nothing'  also fall under a type of feeling ?? And the 'confusion' following it is another emotion ??? WOAH !!!! Now this is something which has all the potential to keep me intrigued for a long time !!! We are all born in this world with a 'cry' (sometimes forced :) ).This particular action is supposed to have made the doctors 'relieved' ,your family -'excited' ,your parents -'happy' ! :) You start growing up being in the 'innocent' stage ,'thinking' that life is 'rosy' .You learn to 'laugh' WITH people to your hearts 'content' ,you start being 'friendly' with people, you start making others your friends ,you have 'affection' for them and learn to 'share' you goodies with t

Ballad of life with a pal :)

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I recently joined back my dance class after 4 long years along with my best friend since childhood and to describe in  the most simplest word the feeling of going back - HAPPY :) Aunty (thats what we called our dance teacher since she had literally seen us grow in front of her eyes) too was happy with our decision to join back and extended us a warm welcome :):) But that did not deter her from being the tough task master that she is and she made us do all the asanas and adavus as they had to be done  and however strange it may be we were happy to sweat it out !!Our legs ached but we savoured it as we could feel each limb ,each muscle stretching .We realized that we did'nt have the same stamina as we used to till 4 years back but we tried to fit in with the fresh batch of students around ... Obviously we missed our group ..... For what i can remember I've been dancing all my life and have been training in it since my 3rd grade . Dance class was right next to my school and

Of a long lived curse !

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When I was born, my eyes were closed When I was born I wasn’t aware to which gender I belonged When I was born I was peaceful in ignorance When I was born I knew nothing about male dominance As I grew my eyes opened to the harassment happening for few I cared My aspirations hadn’t yet grown taller than an average girl’s would and hence I was spared I wondered why I was treated with less respect than a boy would be of the same age Just because he had shorter hair and a stronger body which I couldn’t manage?? Slowly I realized that ‘woman’ was my slave name I was just a piece of pawn for a man’s game I was draped in the sari of tradition and rituals I was crowned the queen to a room surrounded only by some old tumblers and vessels  The dark gender turned out to be darker in soul All they could offer me was sadness, in a bowl Was this the nation that boasted of worshipping women? Or was it the nation where they were harassed by some who claimed them to be god men! I knew I had to br

" I Do " ....

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Her wrinkled hand kept patting his hand and in another she held a wedding photograph of theirs  and she smiled her dimpled smile ,the same smile which had made him fall for her and on one secret night out in their college days he had held her close to him and whispered to her  " to see you smile i live ,seeing the same smile i wish to die"... Recalling those words she turned her gaze to see him lying on the hospital bed ,his eyes still closed ,his fragile body cruelly injected at several places ,many more digital square bodies with waveforms she couldn't make sense of claimed to give reports on whether he was dead or alive or how fast his heart was beating ,whereas she knew it in her mind that only she could understand his hearts' beats,only she could decipher it .... It was the first day of her college and visibly she was one of the 'prettiest thing' around already !! Her silky dark brown hairs flowing in curls ,those large expressive eyes ,her dimples  al