Life as it comes..

I am fine . . . . . . . but I'm not , Its okay . . . . . . . . . .  but Its not ! I hate it when you dont understand me I hate it when you so easily buy my lies , that i dont care . . . . . . . I hate it when you give up on me I hate the fact that you cant make out --- that the only reason I fight with you , is because I want you to pamper me the only reason I act jealous and possessive is because in the pretext of clarifying you will talk to me the only reason I upset you is so that I can cuddle you back to normal the only reason I go overboard is because I dont want things between us to be formal ! I hate the fact that you get bored so easily while I wake up nights just to listen to you I hate the fact that you forget me soon when all I do is remember you I hate the fact that you treat my feelings , more  as a burden And I hate it when you get miffed with me , all of a sudden I hate it when you're gone for long I hate to miss you for I'm ...

I'm a moody person which at times makes me behave in abnormal ways and sometimes to the extent that i start feeling like I'm the latest victim of a "bi-polar disorder" or "obsessive compulsive disorder"! Now, back to the topic , about my mood swings , they have the same affect on me as a hypnotiser would on his rather hopeful patient !! .. I mean they are mostly not under my control and the outcomes are not always good . An interesting observation that I made in this rather serious condition of mine [ ;) ] is that  these varied moods are more like the seasons both in their time spans and essence . There are days when I wake up in a mood soo sunny that I feel that others might have to use their flash to click a pic and that pessimists have to watch their steps or they might turn to looking at the brighter side of things when I'm around !!! I get a feeling that I can take on the world ,dont feel sad for even the rudest comment hurled at me ,look...

Yesterday I went for a walk at the nearby lake and I can say it was beautiful! 'It' here refers to the lake, the feeling of walking by it, the plain sight of it... For me , the most beautiful thing about this lake is that it is not stagnant and the water is in light but continuous and elegant movement ,more like it is walking along with you as you try to converse with it . Stagnancy somehow depresses me and however lazy I might be I'm definitely not inactive. Flowing water on the other hand ,reassures me that 'nothing is permanent' ,a saying which I always say to myself when I'm at rock bottom and which somehow balances out everything . Water invites you and compels you to look at your reflection and what you see may not always please you .The person you see there might not be the person you want to be and that just leaves your eyes flowing ,adding 2 or more drops to the lake.... Well that did not happen to me yesterday because for a change I ...

For the days we smile together On things which later doesn’t matter For the days we laugh together on something that is funny To keep it going we are ready to even make our faces like bugs bunny!! For the days we cry for ourselves thinking of each other I always wonder why we don’t do it together... For the days those pillows have become salty wet To how by just talking it over, those bad things we forget!! For the days we are very angry Our differences we are not ready to burry For the days we act deaf to what each one's telling When we simply feel our presence has become compelling For the days I have acted extremely rude And u don’t want to take the liberty to intrude For the days my inner self is killing me violently To the days you have willingly stood by silently You'll always remain close to me; you'll remain the special dew drop on the leaf of my life ...

I'm sure most of you at one point or the other have travelled by bus and if you havent then this is just to show what all you have missed ! Well I'm not a frequent user of this particular public transport considering I have my own vehicle but the times I have used it , it has been quite an experience each time ! I'm particularly interested in boarding crowded buses ,since that is where i get to observe a whole variety of people ..and oh boy ! what fun it is !! :) Now since its a crowded bus you dont get a seat when you board it and thats when you experience the following : You suddenly  feel like a hostage with your kidnappers surrounding you ,actuating you ,some poking you and If you'r a girl then be ready for the constant stare at you by atleast 10 pairs of eyes and be prepared to take the weight of the  man behind you ,who 'accidentally' may fall on you for the next speed breaker itself ! Talking of speed breakers ,these serve more as opportuni...

I want to smile to myself thinking about you I want to laugh away to your jokes I want to look at you when you are unaware I want to catch you doing the same to me I  want to blush just at the sight of you I want you to notice me blushing too ! I want to cry out my heart holding you I want you to hug me back tightly consoling me I want to wake up to the sunrise with your eyes on me I want to sit silently & watch the sunset with your arms around me I want to keep asking you questions like some small girl ! ... I want to keep hearing you answer till theres an end to time I want to run my fingers over your hairs I want to sleep peacefully on your lap I want to make you feel loved I want to travel the world with you I want to dance wildly with you I want us to share secrets like kids ! I want to try new things with you everyday I want to spend every moment of life living with you I want to ................. P.S : I'm on an overdose of ...