summer ,winter ,spring ,autumn

I'm a moody person which at times makes me behave in abnormal ways and sometimes to the extent that i start feeling like I'm the latest victim of a "bi-polar disorder" or "obsessive compulsive disorder"!

Now, back to the topic , about my mood swings , they have the same affect on me as a hypnotiser would on his rather hopeful patient !! .. I mean they are mostly not under my control and the outcomes are not always good . An interesting observation that I made in this rather serious condition of mine [ ;) ] is that  these varied moods are more like the seasons both in their time spans and essence .

There are days when I wake up in a mood soo sunny that I feel that others might have to use their flash to click a pic and that pessimists have to watch their steps or they might turn to looking at the brighter side of things when I'm around !!! I get a feeling that I can take on the world ,dont feel sad for even the rudest comment hurled at me ,look forward to meeting new people ,in the mood to apologize to ones I've hurt ,write about anything and everything ,try new things ..... In short - In the mood to do anything !! :)

Then there are are days when I'm in absolutely no mood to get out of bed .All I want to do is curl up and crib about things bad in my life ,in your life ,in her life or in anybody's life ! And this is the period when I listen to the most boring and hideous songs made ... ( to be noted that Bieber songs are still not included !! )and the most tragic movies , that just helps me maintain my sulking rate which I on purpose want to keep stable !!! I find fault in things perfect ,feel alienated , In social gatherings I feel as if I'm a chicken kabab in a Jain thali ! ..... Its all gloomy ,dark and that is when I'm at my emotional low looking for someone to console me ,pamper me , make me feel loved .... but the worst part is that I end up acting cynical to even those who come to my aid and there I lose them too ................

But what goes around comes around and so arrives Spring :) This is like some long lost sister of summer and she is equally beautiful !
This is more like the recovery phase from being at the rock bottom and the fruity perfumes ,the fresh roses , the tulips ,orchids , all of them blooming around help a great great deal .This is when I find time to watch the romantic movies in the CD-rack ;) and pop comes out my imaginary ideal guy .... love is in the air !! ;)

Finally at some point I'd like to believe that I find the better sense out of all of these and take a mature view of whats right and whats not ....
This is the point of time when I become the spectator of my life than the heroine and try to put things back to places they belong , and  yes , Its autumn  :)


P.S : this is just a hopeless attempt at writing something atleast and bring myself out of the winter phase as i  realized that I might ,actually 'catch a cold from the ice inside my soul ' just as Christina Perry has phrased it .....