Living in a bubble ..

Has it ever happened to you ? That suddenly you realize that the world you were living in was a fake one, the people surrounding you ,the promises made, the consoling, the relations you made spending so much time on it ,the happiness you thought you had  finally achieved . In short , Everything ,and how much ever you pinch yourself or slap yourself, it doesnt change, thereby confirming that it isn't any of your usual nightmares either .
So there you are totally wounded and bruised from the latest punch on your emotion and you just sit back alone trying to wonder how or why  you let someone affect you so much ?

Why you readily became the emotional fool when you so well knew of the future outcomes !! Why you force yourself to believe that even grey is white enough in your life filled with melancholy black . Why you sober up to someone's sugar talks and ignore your mind's burgeoning warnings that everybody warms up to you only for a reason and none will last even for a season! You silently retreat into your cocoon, the only environment, which like a parent, waits for you to explore and experience the outer world and shelters you back after you return lost,shattered and broken.You cry initially, till the last drop of your innocence and then just turn cold and emotionless .You become more like a baby on the inside, in the maximum need of emotional support but you dont know if you can come to trust someone again.There is a dispirited and resigned expression on your face but your eyes move about frantically in the look out for some warmth .You dont know whom to look out for, you don't know which face of a person to believe and the restlessness increases with the pale colour of your face.

The jar of trust lies there broken ,irreparable ,the innumerable cracks on it and bandages clearly visible .You unsuccessfully start diverting your mind off it ,duck your head filled with heavy thoughts under your pillow  and read nasty self-motivational books which other than keeping your mind busy for less than 10 minutes do nothing to motivate you or bring you out of your shell.You dissemble your sadness under a happy face which is more like a  thorn entered in your shirt ,the world doesnt know of it and there is no point telling it out either (unless you want to entertain a bunch of people or subject yourself to self-abasement) and this no where stops the thorn from pricking you more and leaving cut marks on your skin and flesh .

You vow never to let your guard down again, only to realize that all this has still not managed to kill your emotions fully and that one fine day you'll again recover ,again believe  and stay in the hope that this time you'll trust your delicate self to someone with a sensitive mind and firmer hands ......